I still remember last year's Mother's Day like it was yesterday...event though we didn't get to spend it together, I remember going shopping for your gifts and mailing it to you. I was at Macy's, in the kitchen section, and saw two things that fit you perfectly...a plastic deviled-egg tray case (your deviled eggs were the best I've EVER had, I'm not sure how I'll ever make them as good as you) and a spray bottle for EVOO (I still remember the 1st time you told me about how much you loved Rachel Ray and how she called Extra Virgin Olive Oil = EVOO). I remember you calling and telling me that you absolutely loved both and couldn't wait to use them...and I remember seeing both of them at the house when I came to visit shortly after that, proudly on display. :)
And now, this day, just a year later, is acutely painful and harder than I would have ever imagined. I want you to know, today of all day's, that you were the best mother a girl could every dream of having! I'm not sure that I ever said it enough or emphasized it enough...but my appreciation, love and respect for you is larger than life itself and grows more and more every single day. I will spend the rest of my life honoring you and all that you did for everyone while you were here with us. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, it was something that came so easily for you - and know that on this day, and every day you are loved and missed.
When I got back into blogging and posting regularly, I promised myself that I would be more personal and post from my heart. All of the blogs that I follow, that I truly love, are ones in which the blogger is vulnerable, is honest with his/her readers, and doesn't necessarily always post about all of the positive things that are going on in life. We're all human, we have good days and bad days...and we should be able to talk about the bad days just as much as all the good!
This past winter, my mother passed away. She was 58, too young, and it was fairly sudden. We were very close, she was one of my very best friends. I've been more at peace with it lately, knowing that it must have been her time, that she had fulfilled her purpose here on Earth, that she's in good hands, and that she'll always be with me. But unfortunately, days like these will never be the same again. Not a second goes by that I don't feel her absence in my life, but a good friend of hers who I keep in touch with, told me the other day (as I told him how hard I knew today was going to be) that EVERY day is Mother's Day. And I couldn't agree more...I try to live every day in honor of my Mom, hoping to make her proud and living the life she would want for me. I have good days and bad days...and I'm okay with that. She is my mother, she's no longer here, and that hurts. But whether we like it or not, life doesn't stop for anything and we have to pick up and learn how to keep them in our hearts as we continue through life. So I'm learning and will continue to celebrate every day as Mother's Day for my mom.