Thursday, May 17, 2012

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

A movement has started. A group of brave and honest bloggers have joined together to convey their honesty and transparency in the blogosphere.

It started with EZ at Creature Comforts, who posted a link to this article, then tweets started rolling in about the topic of "reality" on blogs. And now there have been 2 waves of bloggers linking up to write about things they're afraid to tell others, specifically on their blogs. Insecurities, faults, quirks...you name it, bloggers are being open to talking about things they normally wouldn't feel comfortable telling others. Why are we so afraid to be 'not positive'? Why don't we let everyone see who we really are? These are tough concepts...I know.

I came across it while visiting Mimi + Megs post. Now, for those of you who have been visiting my blog for awhile, or even just the past few days...you'll already know that I'm honestly not afraid to be vulnerable when I write my posts. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I have good days, and I have bad days, and I am totally okay with that. It is so much fun to visit blogs all day long and read about all of the fun and creative things going on in bloggers' lives...but I also want to read about all of the other things that happen to them on a daily basis. The good AND the bad...that's what makes us who we are, makes us human. 

So I encourage you to join in on this movement - inspire other bloggers to share things that they're afraid to tell the blogosphere.


Social media exhausts me. I have had this feeling for awhile now, but just recently, since I have been blogging daily and advertising my blog on multiple social media avenues, it has really baffled me just how exhausting it is. I see these blogs that are, what I would call, super successful...they have thousands of followers and hundreds of comments per post, but they are on Facebook & Twitter all day long. I work full-time, so that may be part of it, but I will leave my Twitter feed up throughout the day, come back to my computer after an hour-long meeting, and there will 257 new tweets...IT IS OVERWHELMING. Updating Facebook, sending tweets, posting photos to Instagram, pinning on Pinterest, replying to emails...I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it sometimes and enjoy hearing from people (not complaining there AT ALL), but gosh, it is just tiring sometimes. Even just keeping up with friends on Facebook is tiring sometimes - you're away from it for one day, and you feel like you've missed out on everything...why?? I want to use these social media tools to advertise my blog posts, but it just doesn't seem like enough after awhile.

I have started eating a Paleo-inspired diet. Recently I started getting back into running, I joined a group of people who workout Crossfit-style, and I sat down with the leader of the group to start a healthy eating plan. We talked for a long time, and he explained to me the main Crossfit eating plans (the Zone Diet and the Paleo Diet). And after hearing what he had to say, I decided that I was going to begin implementing the Paleo Diet into my daily meals (which includes lean meats or protein, good carbs or lots of fruits/veggies, nuts & seeds...it basically takes us back to how hunters/gatherers used to eat). It may sound a little crazy (which is why this is a "thing I'm afraid to tell you"), but I've been doing it for about 2 weeks now, and I can honestly say that I feel great - more energized than ever and I'm just really enjoying all of the food that I'm eating! Don't get me wrong, it isn't easy...but let me tell you, the few times that I have "treated" myself and went out to eat, the processed food has made me incredibly sick. My body just can't handle it anymore and rejects it almost immediately. Crazy, huh?!

I'm constantly worried and frustrated that I am simply forgettable. To explain, I seriously can hardly remember the last person that I met who has remembered me and my name the next time they saw me. I honestly have no clue what it is...but it doesn't matter where I'm at, what type of event I'm at, I meet someone...introduce myself...maybe even talk to them for awhile. Next time I see them, I have to reintroduce myself all over again. It sorta hurts my feelings, and I honestly can't really figure it out...it makes me feel like I am completely forgettable and that nothing I say or do makes me stand out. I'm personable, can carry on a conversation and enjoy being sociable...I'm always trying to connect with people. Why then, do I have to remind people who I am constantly?

I wonder if I'll ever do something that makes me feel like I've made a difference. I think about this often, probably too often. I read the book Shake the World not too long ago (if you haven't read it, check it out), and finished it feeling so inspired and ready to do something. What...I still have no idea. I read specific blogs daily about people out there making a difference, doing lots of different things...just like the Compassion Bloggers that just went on their trip to Tanzania. I want to change the world. I know right, that's a big task...and it's not like I'm the first person to say that. I'm just still figuring out what it is that I'm most passionate about and what I can actually do. But it's a goal of mine, because I want to do something in this life that makes a difference.

I get lonely a lot. My situation is unique in that my husband and I, although we are happily married, live apart from one another. I moved to Charlotte, as a career move, while he is still stationed elsewhere with the Air Force. Our time apart is coming to an end within the next 6 months (thank goodness), but our long-distance marriage has been happening (on and off) for almost 4 years now. I don't have family nearby, in fact, my sister is on the complete opposite side of the country. I do have some great friends around me, and I go out from time to time, but I would be lying if I didn't admit how lonely I am much of the time. It is no one's fault, I was a part of the decisions that were made...but living without my husband has been unbearably tough at times. And honestly, I love hanging out with myself...seriously. I am comfortable going to a movie by myself or going to grab a bite to eat by myself (not really a sit-down restaurant, but a more relaxed setting I can do)...I do okay with just me, myself, and I. BUT, after awhile, it gets old, and frustrating. My only grace is knowing that it won't be like this for too much longer!!

I'm worried that I'm forgetting things about my Mom. My Mother's Day post talks a lot about my mom and how much I miss her. It hasn't even been 6 months, but I'm already afraid that I am forgetting things...memories...talks we had. And I hate that! I lie in bed at night, replaying conversations that we had and sometimes I can't remember what she said or how she reacted. I know that this is probably normal for people to worry about this, but it's a very scary and upsetting feeling...a reaction that is painful to have and I just have to hope and pray that the things that I remember are the things that are most important to me and that other memories will come back to me over time.

Wanna read some of the other bloggers' posts??

Bloggers Who Are Participating in Wave No.2:

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor's Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It's Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

Bloggers that participated in Ez's Wave No. 1 of Things I'm Afraid To Tell You:

Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope's Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda's Musings | Mo' Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty's Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea

Thanks again to Jess for her initial post, and to Ez for starting the movement!!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for being so open! It's great to read about certain aspects from a fabulous person such as yourself. ♥

    I totally agree with your feelings regarding social media. It's completely overwhelming for me at times. My pet peeve is that someone will state, "Um yeah, didn't you know? I posted it on such-n-such!" And Twitter? I won't even go there, haha. ;)

    This also reminds me of making a difference - I am at a constant battle of should I use paper towels or plastic bottles? I think about how so many people either don't care or don't realize. Slowly but surely, I have given up certain things. Bringing my own bags, not buying paper towels anymore, etc. :)

    It's awesome that you've changed your diet! I commend you, it certainly isn't easy. I am now a vegetarian (again) and my diet is primarily plant-based now. I feel so much better!

    As for being forgettable? You?! Never! I can't imagine that! ♥ But it's interesting that you feel this way because I worry that I do the opposite. I try to be everybody friend and sometimes I miss out on focusing energy on those who respect my time back.

    I'm sadden that you feel lonely at times. I think about you often and admire how you manage! You are truly an inspiration. ♥

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